I have rewrote this stanza probably an Nth time, but
failing to start it on a good note. Well letting the flow undisturbed here I present
to you my story untold.
The last 3 months of my marriage has been indescribably strenuous.
The relationship stress, in laws pressure, coping up pressure has been building
up on me ever since I met Mr K. It was in fact pure societal pressure that I
got into this marriage. After a month’s separation I realized my life felt
nothing without Mr K. That one month has stroke me with such furious thoughts
of ending my life that I wonder how did I make it thru? I could write hundreds
of pages about the ill-treats as a new bride I went thru. The lack of emotional
support, not supporting me financially plus not letting me work, ill-talks on
every mobile bills, everything I cook!!! Well I will stop myself right here coz
this is not in line with the purpose of the blog.
To round it up….the one month I realized my desire to live
would return if and only I could discover love in my life. One soul to say….”I Love
You…I want You”. It could be a miraculous change in my husband or my own blood
shared baby!!!
I saw myself getting no where without money. Hence came the
second realization…..I need to work to fulfill my expenses. Expecting someone
to pay my bills would lead to complications again. So there started to work my
little brain with big plans….I vigorously started looking for a job
simultaneously trying to make the MAGIC work on my so called family. I healed a prayed everyday hoping HE will
give me a better life……a Magic to make my K and in laws love me or a job enough
to fulfill my expenses.
Like it always says…..HE always has a better plan than wat
you could pray and wish for.
Life kept surprising me at every stage. From my birth! Mom always
told me I did things which was least expected which made me the apple of the
eye almost everywhere…..be it my work place or my family or frds.
This was no big different. Life did surprise me….and HE
proved it again that his plans are better than that of mine J
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